Let's talking about autism and "being a normal person" or more commonly known as "masking".
While I don't have an offical diagnosis, it would genuinely suprise me if I didn't have autism.
Multiple therapists have suspected as such, but I've ultimately decided that a diagnosis,
especially in today's climate...
might not be the best idea.
BUT, as long as I mask and be a normal person, I'll be fine.
Though I mask a lot.
And it's really, really tiring.
Thankfully, when it comes to friendships, I can unmask.
Most of the time...
But what about NEW friendships?
When it comes to new friendships, (and I'm sure other neuro-divergent people can relate to this a lot)
that's where I worry. A lot of questions come up, which will all usually follow the line of "what if people
don't like the 'real' me?"
How do you get around this?
I imagine a lot of neuro-divergent people have different methods. But mine is comprised of three things.
You need to learn to let go of your fears. Sure, the person you're talking to is great, and you want to get to know them! But if they don't like you unmasked, then it's going to be a really tiring friendship. Though, this is also a case-by-case basis kind of thing. It depends on the kind of friendship you think you'll have with them.
In regards to confidence, I've noticed that if you're shy, you miss out on a lot of things, and making friends is up to chance. (You can't be TOO confidence though, don't be a douche bag.) I was extremely shy up until Fall 2023. I ended up being isolated in my own single dorm, too scared to try and make friends. I was also chronically online, which didn't help either. When it comes to confidence though, you also need to be aware that it's a really difficult balance to keep up. Don't be so confident that you're a douchbag, and don't have so little confidence that you end up getting left behind. If you have no experience with this, it can be hard at first, but eventually, I understood.
In regards to self-monitoring, that's a part of masking, but it's also something everyone does. Developing that voice in the back of your head is important. ,
In regards to
There's also a fourth thing I didn't mention. You need to be willing to change. Sometimes, you need to change a little bit for friendships, and if that change is a positive change then maybe it's good to embrace it.